I’ve changed my routine. Before now, my universal approach to combat in a no-guns GTA 5 Story Mode run was pretty straightforward. With the odds invariably weighed in my opponent’s favour – simply because, you know, they have firearms and I don’t – putting obstacles between myself and their line of fire was a given.
Vehicles, walls, trees, lampposts, in essence whatever piece of set dressing I could leverage to close the gap unscathed, before pouncing with a volley of fists and legs and headbutts.
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“Wooooo”, I scream aloud as I contemplate a more contemporary wrestling reference having last watched during the Attitude era. Still, like a man possessed, I’m no longer lurking in the shadows as I face off against Madrazo’s goons but instead charging down their sights, grabbing them by the waist and power slamming them into the Downtown Los Santos sidewalk.
I’ve long been obsessed with ragdoll physics in video games – from Garry’s Mod to Baby Steps and everything in between – and there’s something properly sumptuous about successfully landing the moves that define this compelling player-made monster, before sprawling out my foes on the concrete like vomit outside Clucking Bell.
With flavours of OG San Andreas’ myriad fighting style set list, Melee Executions offers something fresh to the bounds of Grand Theft Auto 5 – which, as has been illustrated for the last 11 years, is testament to the unshakable creativity that drives, and has always driven, the hobbyist modding scene.
And it’s not just wrestling moves on offer here. Kerbside Sonny Corleone-style beatdowns let you sweep enemies to the ground before stamping on them upside the head in one fluid motion. If you approach head-on, a sharp knee to the stomach lets you apply the same assault to an opponent’s head, knocking them unconscious/dead before they’ve even hit the floor.
No-guns runs in GTA 5 are exceptionally difficult, but my latest has become impossible. Not through the lens of challenge, but through distraction and an obsession with power bombing hapless baddies for sport. That and screaming “wooooo” at the top of my lungs like an idiot.
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