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The brands are at it again but this time I’m inclined to let it slide, because it’s so nonsensical (which is a nice way of saying dumb) that I can’t help but be charmed. Ikea, the Swedish furniture-and-stuff giant, has released a mod for Skyrim called Kallax Storageborn: A new companion who is also a shelf, who is also voiced by Matt Berry.
If you think that sounds weird, it gets weirder, because this mod doesn’t just add a companion, it includes an entirely new questline built around the character. Becoming encumbered in the game, as will inevitably happen eventually, will give you the opportunity to visit an abandoned dwemer emporium, where you’ll embark upon a quest to “unravel the origins of a mysterious master.”
During this quest, you’ll assemble Kallax Storageborn, a companion “with unfathomable storage capacity,” who can be summoned with a newly-added Thu’um—Skyrim’s famous voice of power—even when he’s not your active companion. Your ultimate goal: Tidy up the clutter plaguing the realm of Nords and Dragonborn.
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The mod also adds new loot including the Meatball Helmet, which sadly I don’t have an image of, and the mighty Allenblade, which I do:
The Kallax, for the record, is an actual series of Ikea shelves, while Matt Berry once did a Movember voiceover for Hockey Night in Canada.
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He’s done a few other things you may have heard of, too.
The whole thing is obviously a marketing stunt, but it’s worthy of a few minutes of my attention for two reasons. One, as I already said, it’s dumb enough to be charming; and two, some real effort went into it.
The quest is an actual quest—we’re not talking Witcher 3 levels of complexity here, but it’s a real thing to do—and Matt Berry speaks more than you might expect. Why Ikea would invest this much effort into such a silly mod? This I cannot say, except—well, here I am, writing about Ikea in a positive light. Oh no, I’ve fallen into their trap!
Hey, at least I’m not crying over an old lamp.
If all this isn’t enough to convince you to reinstall Skyrim again, you can get a look at the entire Kallax Storageborn experience from YouTuber ESO (via Kotaku), who recently streamed a playthrough of the whole thing. And if it is, you can snag the Kallax Storageborn mod, free, from Bethesda’s Creations page.
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