In real life I’m pretty sure I can’t pick up a rock, grab a stick, collect some “plant fiber” (whatever the hell that is), then use those three items to craft an axe that can cut down a few dozen trees. Most likely, my “axe” would break on the first swing and I’d have better luck just punching the tree with my fist.
Even though the most realistic survival games aren’t all that realistic, I’ve finally found one that at least feels honest. It’s called Unemployment Simulator 2018, and its free Steam demo (this is an upcoming game, despite the name) doesn’t take place on a mysterious island but in a tiny apartment. You don’t collect rocks, you pick up empty beer cans. You don’t build axes, you craft application letters.
But don’t worry: you can still die horribly.
I know (from experience) that when you don’t have a job, looking for a job is your job. But can any of us really sit there for a solid eight hours a day applying for work? Job hunts are frustrating, rejection is devastating, and writing cover letters is the most soulless exercise ever conceived.
In Unemployment Simulator 2018 you won’t last long if all you do is sit at your desk typing application letters. You’ve got to manage your anxiety levels, and that meter routinely redlines: your fridge is nearly empty, bills are stacking up, and your mental health is crumbling. Your daily to-do list may seem to ask little of you—wash a few dishes, apply for one job, brush your teeth and take a shower—but anyone who suffers from depression can tell you that just doing the basics to care for yourself can be a monumental task.
And you have to have some fun. Strumming on the guitar can help for a while, but even that gets old, so try something else. Play a computer game. Watch porn. Maybe a few beers will help? Or how about just sitting on the bed for a bit with your head in your hands.
Having no job and no money and no partner and no prospects isn’t just stressful, it’s boring, and in this simulator if you get too bored, you’ll keel over and die. (I didn’t say it was realistic. I said it was honest.)
Even sleep doesn’t provide a release. Dreams in this sim can be horrifying, like your teeth falling out one by one, or just humiliating, such as the dream I had where I was naked and trash was being thrown at me while I skittered around trying to dodge. (Why do our brains hate us so much, anyway? They’re trapped in here, too! Wouldn’t we both feel better if we just had nice dreams?)
Even looking at your phone in this sim is a risk. Maybe it’ll be something fun like a cat meme or a dopamine rush like a match on a dating app, but often it’s something unwanted like a text from your mom. (Look, even though you love your mom, she’s stressful. No, I haven’t found a job yet, mom. Yes, I’ve been looking, mom.)
Watch On
Unemployment Simulator 2018 is a bummer, yeah—one day I was given a prompt to press a key that let me cry, and absolutely pressed that key a lot. But it’s also a lot of fun. The minigames are great, the animation is excellent, there’s lots of dark humor (the computer game you can play is called KILL EVERYTHING and boy can you kill everything). There’s even some intrigue: a lucid dream and a mysterious letter led me to some bizarre happenings that may just be the hallucinations of an exhausted mind or perhaps an encounter with an advanced intelligence. Hard to say: I’ve been stuck in the apartment with cover letters and empty beer cans for a long time. I’m not the best judge of what’s real.
Unemployment Simulator 2018 is the work of developer Samuel Lehikoinen, who says on its Steam page that it’s “based on real events.” I believe it. This sim is strange and silly and fantastical, but it’s evident there’s some real trauma baked in there, too. I’d really recommend checking out the free demo. Plenty of survival games are stressful and scary, but not many feel this honest.
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