I regret to say that I haven’t actually played Subnautica 2 yet. Something about a part of the world we’ve only managed to explore a miniscule percentage of is inherently terrifying to me, so I tend to stay clear of anything that involves oceans or other generic bodies of water where I can’t stand on my tippy-toes. Don’t even get me started on the deep end of the pool, y’all.
Thankfully, many of my colleagues at PC Gamer are significantly less cowardly than I am. Some might argue more stupid than I am—it’s the freakin’ OCEAN, people—but I am opting to be lovely and professional and polite. For a change.
Either way, they’ve been having a great time with the game. Our senior guides writer Sean Martin is loving the episodic format and how it’s giving him more breathing room to explore the vast ocean, Tyler Wilde waded through the drama that has plagued the game (and continues to do so) to declare that, yeah, it’s pretty good actually. Fraser Brown would like the game a helluva lot more if it shut up a bit, but what’s some PC Gamer coverage without a little contrarianism?
And of course, a game about uncovering the horrors of the deep blue sea wouldn’t be complete without some freaky little sea critters milling around down there. There are plenty of goofy guys and scary scalies, so last week we put a poll to you all asking which of the little weirdos you vibed with the most.
And I gotta say, having looked at your results and the critters in question? I gotta agree with the one most of you voted for as being the best.
33% of you decided that the Periscopic Clowncrab reigned supreme, and oh my goodness. Those crazy elongated Mr. Krabs-ass eyes. Those teeny-tiny little pincers. That adorable, gormless expression. I have no idea how dangerous or docile it is in the confines of Subnautica 2, but I’m going to headcanon that it’s about as dangerous as an adorable kitten.
I’m very happy that you all gave the Periscopic Clowncrab first place, because I thoroughly jumpscared myself looking up what our second-prize winner was. The Coral Crab sounds like it’s going to be an equally adorable being. It is not. Terrifying legs, intimidating stance, something I would absolutely freak out about if I woke up in the middle of the night to find one in my vicinity. I said freaky, not downright scary! I cannot believe 22% of you voted for this thing.
The Great Jaw and BFJ don’t quite give me the same level of the heebie-jeebies, but I am surprised to find them in third and fourth place with 14% and 12% of the votes respectively. I am a little sad to see the critters trailing behind in last place. I understand the Foureye only getting 10% of the votes—it’s a little bland, not very freaky.
But the Waxmoon, y’all? That might be one of the coolest critters I’ve seen. Alright, so it’s not downright freaky (which again, was the criteria here) but I absolutely love how gothic the darn thing is. It looks like the kind of war axe you could find in an MMO or something. Or at the very least, something rad I would get tattooed on me.
Was there a particularly freaky Subnautica 2 critter we missed that you want to shout out? (Our own Elie Gould says: “JUSTICE FOR WATER SLUG!!”) Be sure to let us know in the comments below. And if you’ve grown fond of voting on these polls (as I have) then here’s another one for you to lend your thoughts to, which you can find just above.
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